Robbing the Offender of Glory

When you are hurt, offended, treated unjustly, you want to fight back, even the score, defend yourself. This seems normal and justified. And in fact, offenses usually do need to be confronted in truth and love. But is there a more glorious way, a way in which the glory is snatched from the hands of the offender? Proverbs says "Yes!", "...it is to his (a wise man's) glory to overlook an offense" 19:11b).

The offender offends because he wants to gain something. His intent is to hurt, use, control, and offend so that in some way he comes out on top, to seemingly better his situation. He believes the offense will give him the glory he seeks. He may want to feel better about himself, superior to another, more powerful, or to gain position, leverage and control. When the offended reacts, attempts to defend himself or to vindicate himself the offender knows he has accomplished he desired outcome. He expects and wants a reaction. He has mastered you. This feeds into his desire for greater glory.

A wise man can snatch the glory from his hands through patience and mercy. "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense" (19:11). Where is the glory in overlooking an offense? Patience and mercy demonstrates your faith in God. You believe in God's ultimate justice and vindication. Your patience and mercy demonstrates your belief that God is present, he knows your situation and is powerful enough to deal with it in his time. When you are patient and overlook an offense you are taking the control away from the offender and putting God in control. And when we shift the glory to God, he allows the glory-giver to share in his glory.

Though righteousness has a price, it also has a reward. The righteous who show mercy can anticipate a future reward that is certainly more glorious than immediate vindication or justice on this earth. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven..." (Matt. 5:11-12). Overlooking an offense also has benefit in this life, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy" (5:7). When you are gracious to others who don't deserve mercy, people sit up and take notice for it is certainly not the norm. Your character and faith is gloriously displayed. Your mercy will beget mercy and your patience will be met with patience.

Go ahead, be a robber. Rob the glory from the offender and give it to God. Be patient; overlook the offense. God, who is most patient and merciful, will graciously share his glory with you.

Planning for Success

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).

On Wednesdays I play ping pong with several men, mostly retired, older gentleman. Occasionally we'll draw in a school teacher home for the summer or a pastor who needs a break from the days grind. We take turns attempting to out hit our opponents. Mostly we talk about our lives, share what we are learning in Scripture and in our walk with Christ. Last week I was shocked to learn that John (not his real name), who is in his eighties, is thinking of getting married. His wife died a couple years ago and he met a Christian lady on Match.com.

John exemplifies one who is continually learning and continually asking advice. He is a wise man, knowledgeable in the Scripture. You would think he would have no need to get advise from others. Yet, this is what I constantly find him doing. Today he shared that last Sunday evening, at the church picnic, he asked about eighty people to complete a survey. He asked one question on his survey, "How do you know when you are in love?" He got many answers. Many didn't know. Some said, "You will just know". Many gave him subjective, hard to grab onto type responses, like "It will just feel right".

It's a great question, worth asking and thinking about. John wants to get married and wants to be sure he is making a wise decision. If he does choose to get married, I'm confident his marriage will have a good chance of success. Wisdom works that way.

Most of us seem to think we don't need the advice of others. We think we have all the answers, all the experience, all the knowledge we need. We think our judgment is superior to others. After all, we think, "It is our life. We know what's best for ourselves". Sure this is usually not a deliberate, conscious thought, but our actions reveal what's truly in our hearts.

I know I've got some important decisions to make. Ones that could alter the course of the rest of my life. You bet I'm going to make some phone calls, get together for lunch, invite people over and most importantly, talk to God and listen for His advice in Scripture.

Building a Life of Wisdom

Proverbs 9

"...rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" (Proverbs 9:8b-10).

As I write this I'm sitting at my kitchen table looking out the window listening for God's voice in what I have read in Proverbs 9 and John 2. It is so hard to keep my mind still, to rest my spirit and wait for the Lord's voice. If you are patient, He will speak.

He has spoken to me this morning. His words have lifted me up, as they always do, if I am submissive enough to listen. "Blessed is the man who listens to me" (8:34). Here is what I'm learning from His voice, the voice of wisdom. "Jay, I am building your life. Trust me and my process". Building a life of wisdom is a process that 1) takes time (9:6), 2) requires some hardship and hard work to get to the next level (9:8-9), 3) is orchestrated by God, according to his ways and his timing (9:10), and therefore, 4) requires me to have a submissive heart (9:10). And, I should add, 5) is full of God's goodness and blessing (9:11-12).

As I look out my kitchen window I see my neighbors house, which made me think of all the roofing replacement going on in our neighborhood. Hurricanes leave devastation, but as so many of my neighbors have said, "That old roof was due to be replaced". I'm fifty years old and nearly forty years old spiritually. It's time for some upgrades, remodeling and new construction. And that is a good thing, but not without some cost and effort and time.

In house construction, the foundation is quickly poured and the frame is set, often in a day or two. Then the more complex and labor intensive details are added. The process of building a life of wisdom is much the same. Proverbs describes the materials and the process of building a wise heart. It starts with a submissive heart (relationship), one that fears the Lord (1:7; 9:10). The submissive heart allows you to build on the appropriate foundation, the Solid Rock. On the foundation you begin to build your framework which Proverbs describes as the commands (rule), law or knowledge. Commands include both the direct commands of Scripture and the wise counsel of others. Commands define right and wrong for us, and they direct us in the path of wisdom.

Like putting up framework in construction, adding knowledge seems to happen relatively quickly and with ease and eagerness. I was amazed at how quickly the early phases of construction took place for the Lutheran church at the entrance of our subdivision. That was early spring. It is now summer and it appears like the construction is at a stand still. These later phases require more detail, greater patience, effort, skill and time.

The second phase in building a wise heart is discipline (rod), which requires explanation, understanding, repetition, drilling, rebuke and correction. The instruction of discipline requires us to use knowledge to correctly apply wisdom to life. Discipline slaps our fingers when we begin to do something wrong.

Trials, injustices, persecution are hurricane force winds that put our heart to the test. It reveals weaknesses and strengths, motives and desires. All this is hard stuff, but good stuff. "If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you" (9:12).

Hurricane winds are unpredictable. They come by God's sovereign hand. We need them in our life. but we also need the daily "winds". Sometimes these are graciously given by our parents, friends, elders, teachers, spouse as they instruct, counsel, teach, fellowship, hold us accountable, etc. "He who walks with the wise grows wise" (Prov. 13:20a). But the majority of the wind forces should be self-imposed. "Discipline yourself toward godliness" (1 Tim. 4:7).

Now, I want to come to the part that really spoke to me today. It's the time and patience part, which again requires a submissive heart that fears the Lord. This was brought to my attention as I read John 2. Jesus performs his first miracle by turning water into wine. He did this in a very subtle, behind the scene kind of way. The master, bridegroom, nor the guests, knew where the wine came from (2:8-10). Only the servants knew what had happened and who was going to believe them? Why all the hush, hush, sneaking around in the background? Jesus reply to his mother gives us some insight, "My time has not yet come" (2:4). Even the Son of God had to wait. But in waiting God's glory could not help but seep out. "This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory and his disciples put their faith in him" (2:11).

I want to be like Jesus and I want to be like those servants who obeyed a seemingly mindless and fruitless task. They played a part in displaying God's glory. That is all we can ask for and certainly more than what we deserve.

Where do we find Lady Wisdom?

Proverbs 8

"Blessed is the man who listens to me (Lady Wisdom), watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord" (34-35, italics mine). "...wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her" (11).

If my life and the favor of the Lord depend on my pursuit and discovery of wisdom, I better know where to find her. So I ask, "Where do we find Lady Wisdom?".

1) Wisdom is found at the point of decision. "On the heights along the way, where the paths meet,...beside the gates leading into the city, at the entrances" (2). These are markers, intersections, and entrances where decisions are made. These are places that are both prominent and important for direction and progress. Wisdom intersects at these points of decision which impact the progress, momentum and direction of our life. Wisdom calls out at these crucial junctures of life. Will we recognize her? Will we listen to her?

2) Wisdom is found when we listen. How do I know if I'm opening the door to Lady Wisdom?

Are you listening? "Listen to my instruction and be wise, do not ignore it" (33; also v. 1, 4, 6, 32-34). Listening requires patience, humility, and a relinquishing of control. When we are truly listening we are saying, "These words, and the person speaking them, have value". Listening is an act of love. Listening is also an act of surrender. I am surrendering my right to be heard. I am yielding to anther's voice. I am saying, "Your input is more important than what I have to say at this time".

What are evidences that you are listening? You are a person that seeks the counsel of others. You are a person that asks God for direction. These are the kinds of things found in your life: you read and meditate on the Scriptures, read good books, down load sermons, you are involved in small groups, have serious accountability with other men, let your wife talk while you have eye contact, you listen for God's voice through fasting. You are a person that values solitude with God.

3) Wisdom is found when we wait. "Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting daily at my doors" (34, italics mine). The wise pursuit is one of patience and trust. A wise person plans and takes action, but these actions come only when Lady Wisdom has clearly spoken. Her directives make us bold as lions. But the lion first listens, then leaps.

4) Lady Wisdom has her companions. Where you find her you will find these companions: instruction (10), prudence (12a), knowledge and discretion (12b), the fear of the Lord and a hatred for evil (13), counsel, sound judgment, understanding and power (14), righteousness and justice (20). Seeks these and you will find Lady Wisdom.

5) Lady Wisdom is found in God. "The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works" (22). Know God and His directives and you will find Lady Wisdom.

When you find Her you also find true life and the favor of the Lord. This is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with Him.

Silencing Seduction: His Words Over Her Words

Foundational to a life of sexual purity is a life filled with and dominated by Scripture. It's no wonder then that sexual sin, and sin in general, is so prevalent in our lives. Most of us are not brimming over with Scripture. Even those who have developed a daily discipline of Bible reading forget most of what they read an hour later. Even when we do remember a thought or two, how many of us are intentionally and actively using, speaking, thinking about these truths throughout our daily lives. It's no wonder we are so easily and quickly defeated by sin, especially sexual sin.

A life of victory requires some incredible diligence.

1) It requires storing up Scripture. Do you have a full pantry of Scripture to draw from? Is your store house stocked for the challenges of spiritual warfare, persecution, and the lonely and empty times? Wisdom says, "Store up my commands within you" (7:1). Study, listen, learn, memorize and meditate on God's Word.

2) It requires continual practice. "My son, keep my words" (7:1). "Keep my commands" (7:2). As Christians, we know more spiritual truth than we ever use. The gap between knowledge and obedience is much greater than the gap between ignorance and knowledge. We are obese with spiritual knowledge. Like an exercise training routine, we need to do daily reps, focusing on specific character and behavior traits that need strengthening. We need to be intentional, focused and consistent in our application of Scripture. I've found it helpful to spend a whole year or more working on one specific growth goal in my life. Work that specific spiritual muscle group until it becomes reflexive, almost instinctive thoughts and behaviors. "Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart" (7:3). "...Guard my teachings as the apple of your eye" (7:2).

3) It requires a new relational motivation. "Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and call understanding your kinsman" (7:4). Relatives are loved and valued. You will sacrifice for your family. There is nothing that will motivate and drive you more than personal relationships. When you fall in love with God, you will hold his Word dear. The lure of sinful desires will pale in comparison to the lure of His love (7:5).

Wisdom and understanding are from God and lead us to God (1:7; 2:1-8). When we embrace them, we embrace God. We can do nothing apart from Him (John 15:4). Wisdom is the skill of loving Him. "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love" (John 15:10). "You are my friends if you do what I command " (John 15:14).

What gems will you mine today as you study, search, learn, memorize, meditate on Scripture? What jewels will you wear as you carry God's Word into life? Will God's truth be at your finger tips and on your heart so you can apply it, speak it, teach it, proclaim it, live it? Will you remember your Beloved who gave you these gems and who died and lives for you? Will you talk to Him, listen to Him and experience His presence in your life today?

He will silence her seductive words into oblivion (7:5).

Untrapped and Unstuck

Are you stuck in life? Have you made some poor decisions that have kept you from a more fruitful life for God? Or perhaps you are stuck because you struggle making decisions. You are polarized by your own unwillingness to take personal responsibility, to discipline yourself, or to take the leadership and the self-initiative in your life. Proverbs 6 gives us wisdom to free us from our frozen state.

We are given two examples of a stuck person in Proverbs 6:1-11. The first makes a financial and verbal commitment that is rash, impulsive and risky (1-2). This entraps him to the consequences of his poor decision. The second example is one who does nothing. He is like a sluggard. He can't or wont make decisions and commitments (6-11). This seems like the easy route, but quickly leaves this person empty, robbed of God's best.

What do you do if you've made a foolish commitment or a poor decision? Perhaps you've purchased a car or home you can't afford, or committed to a job that has robbed you of precious family time, or volunteered to do something beyond your ability to deliver. The wise person will make every attempt to free himself (v.3). This will take humility -- "Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor". You are admitting you made a stupid decision. We are then encouraged to act swiftly -- "Allow no sleep to your eyes" (v.4). And with great intensity, like a wild animal caught in the hands of a hunter (v.5). Your life is on the line, so move.

For the person caught in his inability to make decisions, to move forward and change the status quo, learn from the ant. The ant is an example of unsupervised, uncoerced self-discipline. Without any outside leadership or pressure, this tiny creature gathers and stores provisions for the more difficult days ahead. When we are stuck in life, whether by our own foolish decisions or our own laziness and lack of self-discipline, the wise course of action is to humbly admit our condition and then get to work. Just start moving in the right direction. Take responsibility for the future.

Outside Influence

The inclination of men's heart is to trust in himself. After all, who knows our heart better? Obviously we are going to look out for our own interests. We know what we like. We know what is best for ourselves. Each day we make independent choices, often without the inclusion of others. This all seems natural, right and best. But Proverbs 28:26 warns us, "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe". It is foolish to think that we can trust our own hearts, our own motives, and our own decisions. We need outside influence. Most importantly, we need God. We need God's direction, God's Word, God's Spirit, God's people.

From my study of Proverbs I see three guiding influences that should guide us down the path of wisdom. I've categorized them under three words: rule, rod and relationship. The principles or truths of God's Word (rule), the discipline of God (rod), and the love of God (relationship) lead us down the path of righteousness.

Tomorrow, after reading Proverbs 29, we will look more specifically at these three. Until then, meditate today on Proverbs 28:26 and ask yourself, "Who or what is influencing my decisions?"