It's a Law You Can't Escape

Proverbs 5

Some time in middle school I learned the basic scientific law that says, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". So, if you throw a baseball into a window it will create a significant reaction - a loud sound wave will reverberate, shards of glass will fly down, out and in, and some unhappy home owner will have a sudden spike in their blood pressure. God's law says, If we mess with immorality, especially adultery, we will experience devastating consequences. We need to get it in our thick heads that we will not get by with immorality and we will not escape the on slot of its ravishing results.

Let these words echo in our mind from Proverbs 5. Adultery will end in bitterness (4a), mortal wounds (4b-5), instability (6), depletion of your strength, your wealth, and the best of your youth (9-10), your physical health will be ravished (11), your character will be left in utter ruin (14), and in the end it will kill you (23).

The tools for victory are simple: 1) give yourself fully to the words of wisdom (5:1-2, 7). Remember all the active words of a wise listener in chapter four? 2) Take drastic measures to stay away, avoid, run from temptations to immorality. "Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house" (5:8). Jesus said it even stronger, "cut off the hand that makes you stumble" and "tear out the eye that makes you stumble" (Matt. 5:29-30). Turn off, unplug, throw out, close your eyes, look the other way, bounce your eyes, run, flee - you fill in the rest. Just do whatever it takes. 3) Fill yourself up with intimacy and love for your wife (15-19). Spend quality, undivided time with her. Love her fully. Express your gratitude to her and for her. Give yourself fully to her in every way - your time, attention, affection. Have sex with her frequently. 4) Finally, and most importantly, be aware of God's watchful eye (21). He knows and sees and is not winking, ignoring or avoiding. He will respond to our rebellion and rejection of His ways in righteousness and justice. The "when" and "how" is determined by his sovereign grace and mercy.

Don't push it, men! Don't push Him!

Listening to the Voice of Wisdom

"Make your ear attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding" (2:2).

Wisdom flows out of a right relationship with God (1:7;2:6) and key to any relationship is the skill of listening. Repeatedly wisdom calls for a listening ear and a receptive heart (2:2; 3:1; 4:1, 4; 5:1). When I think of a good listener I think of skills like discipline, self-control, self-denial, a love and respect for the person talking, a hunger to learn, a zeal for knowledge, time, patience, freedom from distrations, effort, focus, intentionality, and humility. Indeed you will find these same qualities as prerequisites to the pursuit of a life of wisdom. Look at the action words used in chapter four used to describe the pursuit of wisdom and her words.

• Hold fast; keep (4)
• Acquire; Don't forget (5)
• Don't forsake; love her (6)
• Prize her (8)
• Accept my sayings (10)
• Take hold; guard her (13)
• Give attention; incline your ear (20)
• Keep them in the midst of your heart (21)
• Look directly ahead (25)
• Gaze fixed straight in front of you (25)
• Watch the path (26)

Is this the kind of focused, aggressive, intentional listening that I'm engaged in on a daily basis? Not only, how am I listening, but who am I listening to? As I've pa roused Proverbs these past few months I've noticed these sources of wisdom.

1. God and His Word (1:7; 2:6-7; 8:22; 9:10; 15:33; 16:20). He is the origin of all wisdom. But he also uses people as His channel to disperse wisdom.

2. Fathers and mothers (1:8,9; 23:22-25)

3. The Humble (11:2)

4. Wife (12:4, 14:1; 18:22; 31:10-11)

5. The Righteous (12:5-6, 26)

6. Counselors (12:15; 13:10; 19:20)

7. The Wise (13:14, 20)

Am I actively engaging, inviting, pursuing, seeking these voices of wisdom? This all requires time, discipline and selfless living. Most importantly, it requires me to listen with my heart.

Here are some practical ways I've sought to engage the voice of wisdom.

1. I regularly download sermon podcasts and listen to them while I'm exercising, running, mowing the lawn, etc. My favorites are John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler and James McDonald.
2. I have a couple older, wiser men that I meet with on a regular basis to receive their counsel, advice and knowledge. When I first came to my most current ministry position I asked several people who they thought were the wisest and most respected men in the church. I asked two of these men to meet with me on a monthly basis.
3. My wife is probably my best source of wisdom. No one knows me and my life circumstances better than her. We love to walk our neighborhood in the evenings and talk about life.
4. A couple years ago I began the discipline of writing in a notebook in conjunction with my other spiritual disciplines. You'll notice I didn't use the word "journal" intentionally. I've tried journaling in the past with a very minute measure of success. The majority of us men are not writers. What I'm talking about is engaging God and the Scriptures with pen and paper. This is very broad in scope. Sometimes I write a prayer in response to my time with God. Other times I will write out a verse that has been meaningful. Most frequently I will write down one thought that God has spoken to me from His Word that I need to apply and carry with me that day. Many times I'll incorporate different Bible study techniques, like recording observations, key words, key verses, outlining, summarizing, etc. The bottom line is writing engages my ears, my mind, and my heart.
5. Reading books, especially in conjunction with others has been a wonderful source of wisdom. Currently, my son Kyle and I are reading Crazy Love by Fancis Chan. I just began reading Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughs with a group of men I meet with every other Monday morning at Panera.
6. This blog has been a source of wisdom for me as it has encouraged me to dig deeper in Proverbs.

Are you listening to the voice of wisdom? She is a voice that will lead you to God and to the fullness of life He offers (see Proverbs 2:10-21).

Relaxing in the Recliner of Life - Wake Up!

Our loved one speaks, but we're not listening, at least not whole heartily. We've all been caught doing this. Our mind is given to the latest sports program, newspaper article, or magazine interest. All we want to do is escape from the exhausting grind and pressures of daily life. Just for a moment. Just a little harmless devotion to our whimsical desires. But our love wants our attention, our devotion, our affection. There are important things to communicate. We say we are listening, but that is only a lip service lie.

At this point you are probably thinking, this is going to be about listening to and loving your wife. But no, the loved one I'm referring to is our Beloved Savior. I was challenged by verses 27 and 29 in today's chapter.

²⁷ The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable— how much more so when brought with evil intent!

²⁹ A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives thought to his ways.

These verses provoked me to ask, "Am I in any way living like the wicked, who do religious things (27a), but with wrong motives (27b); who act as if everything is going great (29a), without giving any thought to the true state of things (29b)?" The wicked do "spiritual things" and put up a bold front without examining the reality of where they are at with God. Is that us? Are we relaxing in the recliner of life, pursuing our own comforts and desires, while at the same time saying, "Yes, Lord. I'm here. I'm listening"? We are like the husband who goes through the motions but is not fully engaged with his love.

Prior to reading Proverbs 21, I read the book of Jude which is a call to contend for the faith (v3) and to be on the alert for "godless men who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ..." (v4). Jude paints a vivid picture of their deeds and demise. He concludes with a challenge to the called to be different, not to be men "who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit" (v19). He sounds the alarm to instead, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord...Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear -- hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh" (vv. 20-23). Does that sound like me? Does that sound like you?

Buzzers, alarms, and maybe even your wife's voice, can be irritants. But ignoring these reminders and warnings can be perilous to our health. Ignoring spiritual warnings can be worse. The voice of God is one we dare not disconnect. Engage him fully. Listen to him closely. Be attentive to your relationship with Christ.

Love and Faithfulness

I have a question for you today. Why does Proverbs couple together "love" and "faithfulness"?

There are several occasions in which Proverbs simultaneously extols the virtues of love and faithfulness together. "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" (20:3). "Love and faithfulness keep a king safe" (20:28a). We also see these two virtues coupled together in 3:3, 14:22; 16:6. The Psalmist continually praises God for demonstrating these two qualities (Psalm 25:10, 40:10, 61:7, 85:10, 86:15, 89:1, 14, 28, 115:1, 138:2, 145:13). See also Ex. 34:6; Is. 55:3; 1 Thess. 3:6; 2 Tim. 1:13-18;; Col. 1:5).

Robbing the Offender of Glory

When you are hurt, offended, treated unjustly, you want to fight back, even the score, defend yourself. This seems normal and justified. And in fact, offenses usually do need to be confronted in truth and love. But is there a more glorious way, a way in which the glory is snatched from the hands of the offender? Proverbs says "Yes!", "...it is to his (a wise man's) glory to overlook an offense" 19:11b).

The offender offends because he wants to gain something. His intent is to hurt, use, control, and offend so that in some way he comes out on top, to seemingly better his situation. He believes the offense will give him the glory he seeks. He may want to feel better about himself, superior to another, more powerful, or to gain position, leverage and control. When the offended reacts, attempts to defend himself or to vindicate himself the offender knows he has accomplished he desired outcome. He expects and wants a reaction. He has mastered you. This feeds into his desire for greater glory.

A wise man can snatch the glory from his hands through patience and mercy. "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense" (19:11). Where is the glory in overlooking an offense? Patience and mercy demonstrates your faith in God. You believe in God's ultimate justice and vindication. Your patience and mercy demonstrates your belief that God is present, he knows your situation and is powerful enough to deal with it in his time. When you are patient and overlook an offense you are taking the control away from the offender and putting God in control. And when we shift the glory to God, he allows the glory-giver to share in his glory.

Though righteousness has a price, it also has a reward. The righteous who show mercy can anticipate a future reward that is certainly more glorious than immediate vindication or justice on this earth. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven..." (Matt. 5:11-12). Overlooking an offense also has benefit in this life, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy" (5:7). When you are gracious to others who don't deserve mercy, people sit up and take notice for it is certainly not the norm. Your character and faith is gloriously displayed. Your mercy will beget mercy and your patience will be met with patience.

Go ahead, be a robber. Rob the glory from the offender and give it to God. Be patient; overlook the offense. God, who is most patient and merciful, will graciously share his glory with you.

Planning for Success

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).

On Wednesdays I play ping pong with several men, mostly retired, older gentleman. Occasionally we'll draw in a school teacher home for the summer or a pastor who needs a break from the days grind. We take turns attempting to out hit our opponents. Mostly we talk about our lives, share what we are learning in Scripture and in our walk with Christ. Last week I was shocked to learn that John (not his real name), who is in his eighties, is thinking of getting married. His wife died a couple years ago and he met a Christian lady on Match.com.

John exemplifies one who is continually learning and continually asking advice. He is a wise man, knowledgeable in the Scripture. You would think he would have no need to get advise from others. Yet, this is what I constantly find him doing. Today he shared that last Sunday evening, at the church picnic, he asked about eighty people to complete a survey. He asked one question on his survey, "How do you know when you are in love?" He got many answers. Many didn't know. Some said, "You will just know". Many gave him subjective, hard to grab onto type responses, like "It will just feel right".

It's a great question, worth asking and thinking about. John wants to get married and wants to be sure he is making a wise decision. If he does choose to get married, I'm confident his marriage will have a good chance of success. Wisdom works that way.

Most of us seem to think we don't need the advice of others. We think we have all the answers, all the experience, all the knowledge we need. We think our judgment is superior to others. After all, we think, "It is our life. We know what's best for ourselves". Sure this is usually not a deliberate, conscious thought, but our actions reveal what's truly in our hearts.

I know I've got some important decisions to make. Ones that could alter the course of the rest of my life. You bet I'm going to make some phone calls, get together for lunch, invite people over and most importantly, talk to God and listen for His advice in Scripture.

Building a Life of Wisdom

Proverbs 9

"...rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" (Proverbs 9:8b-10).

As I write this I'm sitting at my kitchen table looking out the window listening for God's voice in what I have read in Proverbs 9 and John 2. It is so hard to keep my mind still, to rest my spirit and wait for the Lord's voice. If you are patient, He will speak.

He has spoken to me this morning. His words have lifted me up, as they always do, if I am submissive enough to listen. "Blessed is the man who listens to me" (8:34). Here is what I'm learning from His voice, the voice of wisdom. "Jay, I am building your life. Trust me and my process". Building a life of wisdom is a process that 1) takes time (9:6), 2) requires some hardship and hard work to get to the next level (9:8-9), 3) is orchestrated by God, according to his ways and his timing (9:10), and therefore, 4) requires me to have a submissive heart (9:10). And, I should add, 5) is full of God's goodness and blessing (9:11-12).

As I look out my kitchen window I see my neighbors house, which made me think of all the roofing replacement going on in our neighborhood. Hurricanes leave devastation, but as so many of my neighbors have said, "That old roof was due to be replaced". I'm fifty years old and nearly forty years old spiritually. It's time for some upgrades, remodeling and new construction. And that is a good thing, but not without some cost and effort and time.

In house construction, the foundation is quickly poured and the frame is set, often in a day or two. Then the more complex and labor intensive details are added. The process of building a life of wisdom is much the same. Proverbs describes the materials and the process of building a wise heart. It starts with a submissive heart (relationship), one that fears the Lord (1:7; 9:10). The submissive heart allows you to build on the appropriate foundation, the Solid Rock. On the foundation you begin to build your framework which Proverbs describes as the commands (rule), law or knowledge. Commands include both the direct commands of Scripture and the wise counsel of others. Commands define right and wrong for us, and they direct us in the path of wisdom.

Like putting up framework in construction, adding knowledge seems to happen relatively quickly and with ease and eagerness. I was amazed at how quickly the early phases of construction took place for the Lutheran church at the entrance of our subdivision. That was early spring. It is now summer and it appears like the construction is at a stand still. These later phases require more detail, greater patience, effort, skill and time.

The second phase in building a wise heart is discipline (rod), which requires explanation, understanding, repetition, drilling, rebuke and correction. The instruction of discipline requires us to use knowledge to correctly apply wisdom to life. Discipline slaps our fingers when we begin to do something wrong.

Trials, injustices, persecution are hurricane force winds that put our heart to the test. It reveals weaknesses and strengths, motives and desires. All this is hard stuff, but good stuff. "If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you" (9:12).

Hurricane winds are unpredictable. They come by God's sovereign hand. We need them in our life. but we also need the daily "winds". Sometimes these are graciously given by our parents, friends, elders, teachers, spouse as they instruct, counsel, teach, fellowship, hold us accountable, etc. "He who walks with the wise grows wise" (Prov. 13:20a). But the majority of the wind forces should be self-imposed. "Discipline yourself toward godliness" (1 Tim. 4:7).

Now, I want to come to the part that really spoke to me today. It's the time and patience part, which again requires a submissive heart that fears the Lord. This was brought to my attention as I read John 2. Jesus performs his first miracle by turning water into wine. He did this in a very subtle, behind the scene kind of way. The master, bridegroom, nor the guests, knew where the wine came from (2:8-10). Only the servants knew what had happened and who was going to believe them? Why all the hush, hush, sneaking around in the background? Jesus reply to his mother gives us some insight, "My time has not yet come" (2:4). Even the Son of God had to wait. But in waiting God's glory could not help but seep out. "This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory and his disciples put their faith in him" (2:11).

I want to be like Jesus and I want to be like those servants who obeyed a seemingly mindless and fruitless task. They played a part in displaying God's glory. That is all we can ask for and certainly more than what we deserve.